


Blasphemous Rumours

by nephiliminality



Series: Angst Bingo 2020 [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Humanity (Good Omens), Divine Politics, Gaslighting, Gen, Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens), Party Lines, Prayer, The Potatoes of Defiance, Vague Institutional Menace, We Are Not Fallen (But That Could Change) Never Forget That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nephiliminality/pseuds/nephiliminality
Summary: Have you come to hear the stories we tell in Heaven? About the demon who prays?It isn't true, obviously. It can't be true. No demon would ever pray. Demons have no compassion, no hope, no fear. They are broken former people who delight in pain because it is all they have. Everyone knows that. It must be a trick. And yet, every angel who works the prayer halls has heard him. Every angel who has ever worked them has heard him. He has been praying since the Beginning. You have heard him too, haven't you? It's why you're here.For the Angst Bingo 2020 prompt: "Angels can hear it when you pray to them. Crowley has been praying for 6000 years."
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Angst Bingo 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926217
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36
Collections: GO Angst Bingo 2020





	Blasphemous Rumours

**Author's Note:**

> CW: canon-typical Heavenly abusive/menacing environment, very vague reference to someone suggesting a murder (not carried out)

Have you come to hear the stories we tell in Heaven? About the demon who prays?

It isn't true, obviously. It can't be true. No demon would ever pray. Demons have no compassion, no hope, no fear. They are broken former people who delight in pain because it is all they have. Everyone knows that. It must be a trick. And yet, every angel who works the prayer halls has heard him. Every angel who has ever worked them has heard him. He has been praying since the Beginning. You have heard him too, haven't you? It's why you're here.

The demon prayed for Adam and Eve. He prayed for Abel and for Cain. He prayed for the victims of the Flood and for the scattered of Babel and for Sodom and Gomorrah. Wherever the Lord's wrath is felt and the cries go up from the Earth, one voice in that chorus of pain will be his.

Well, so it seems, anyway. But no demon would ever pray.

Sometimes we gather, we who work the prayer halls. We gather in twos and threes and fours, we cannot risk more. We talk, with hushed voices, about the thing that is not talked about. About that demon who prays.

Some of us think it's a plot of some kind. We wonder what he is trying to achieve, what must be done to thwart him. Some want him dealt with permanently. Better safe than sorry, and it is only a demon. But sending word to an agent on Earth would need approval from a higher authority, and who wants to report the impossible?

Some of us think it's a mistake, a labelling error. These must be human prayers, wrongly attributed. No-one will report this either - who would dare to suggest that Heaven got something wrong? That is dangerously close to questioning the Almighty. What has happened before could surely happen again. Remember those broken hopeless former people who would never pray. Remember, lest you join them.

A few of us think the demon is remorseful, wishes to return to the fold. We pity him. That can never happen. Unforgivable, that is what he is. That is what you would be. If you believed this, of course, which you don't. A broken hopeless former person cannot be remorseful, just as they cannot be compassionate. Heaven does not make mistakes. Those who are Fallen are Fallen because they should be. You are not someone who should be Fallen, are you?

Fortunately, these impossible tales cannot corrupt you further. You are too late to join us - there will be no more meetings. Armageddon is upon us and we all have new orders. We are not to listen to prayers any more. What would be the point? None of the humans know the end is coming, and it will all be irrelevant in a few hours. We all have much more important things to do. Dust off your kit, polish your boots, report for active service. Don't you know there's a war on?

It is a shame, really. The demon has prayed so much this week. Praying for the world not to end. Pleading for a reason why. Praying for personal safety. And finally, desperately, a plea for the safety of a specific angel. What a stir that would have caused, if it had been true!

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a song by Depeche Mode (cw suicide for the song itself, just in case you haven't heard it and get curious). The only thing the song has to do with the fic is that it got stuck in my head while I was writing :)


End file.
